Darkness into Light

“You are my lamp, O Lord; the Lord turns my darkness into light.” 2 Samuel 22:29

On March 7, 2011, I had a hysterectomy to correct a moderate prolapse of the uterus. Do not Google that! Pictures I never wanted to see. Surgery was a success. I had reconstruction work done, which makes me feel like an old house by the way! With the extra tacks and such, I was not to lift anything heavier than a gallon of milk for 6 weeks. Those that know me, know what a challenge this was! March 24^th I was headed on to the “back stretch” of recovery, Matt was headed on a men’s retreat for the weekend. I had no complications to this point and suddenly with one pull of the dog’s collar, blood, and lots of it. It was about 10pm, I had just sat back down on the couch from putting the dog away and was talking with a friend who came to “hang” with me.  I cough and suddenly feel like I have just “peed” on myself. I jump up, horrified that all 4 of my children are potty trained and I still have issues, and find that it was blood and not urine. It however was coming out it large amounts that’s why I had that sensation. By midnight I had ruined 2 sets of clothes and soaked through 2 “granny” pads. You know the ones, huge thick diaper like pads. Same happens until I finally go to sleep around 2:30am. I wake a little before 6am, soaked of course and head to the shower. I finally decide that it’s worse that I can handle alone and call my husband. He decides to come home and take me to the Dr. Thank goodness, because there is no one else that I would want to be with me in this situation. I call the doctor’s office at 8am. They of course want to see me immediately. I get another call from them immediately after making sure I’m bringing someone with me. Comforting. On the way, I call on my face book friends to pray for me. I was worried and all I could utter was “God, help me!” I didn’t know what else to say, but I knew that my family and friends would up lift me and they did. I get to the doctor and they examine me, she rushes out the door to call my doctor, who is at a conference. She comes back and asks Matt if he can drive me to the hospital or if they should call an ambulance and she keeps repeating, “It’s going to be ok!” I was trying to decide if she was trying to convince me or herself. The plan was to check my blood counts to determine if I need a transfusion and to do a CT to determine where the blood is coming from and if it’s pooling up inside of my abdomen. Then, surgery. Dun, dun, dun! Blood counts come back at 14! Now Google blood counts, you’ll find the 14 falls in the good and normal range. What?! But I’ve now bled through those “granny” pads for nearly 12 hours. How can my blood counts be 14? Yeah, you know that answer. So, it becomes a waiting game and “re-do” of blood work that evening and again the next morning. So, from about 10 am that morning until 4pm that afternoon, I lay on a gurney in the dark ER room while they determine what the next plan of action is. Worried and out of control, I just listen. I could feel the peace that all my friends were praying over me. It was calm and quiet. A stillness indescribable. A song enters my heart, “How great is our God!” They decide to admit me and put me on the pre-surgical floor, still anticipating surgery. This young guy comes and gets me to move me. He’s got a spirit like I’ve never experienced in the hospital. Happy, upbeat, like he was hangin’ with friends. We round the corner on the fourth floor and approach my room at the end of the hallway. The sun is shining so bright through the window that I raise my hands to shield my eyes. And the song continues. “He wraps Himself in light, and darkness tries to hide, and trembles at His voice and trembles at His voice. How great is our God, sing with me How Great is our God. And all will see how great, how great, is our God!” He was with me the whole time. From then until they released me the next evening, the bleeding had almost stopped completely except for a little spotting. Sometimes we don’t know why we go through some of the things we do. But we are promised that He is with us always and that He will not give us more than we can handle. Besides, with the promise that He is always with us, what could possibly be “too much”? “Age to age He stands and time is in His hands, beginning and the end, beginning and the end. The God Head Three in one. Father, Spirit, Son, The Lion and the Lamb, The Lion and the Lamb. How great is our God, sing with me How Great is our God. And all will see how great, how great, is our God!” So, I’m singing How Great my God is so all will see how great He is! Sounds like a mission’s song! Hmm…